Doubt: The Killer of Flow

Have you ever been fully engaged in a project but had someone pick it apart with their negative attitude, and before you know it, wham, the project starts to crumble? Negative people, starting and most importantly with yourself can sabotage the best laid plans. So often we are right on the verge of brilliance when we sabotage our own efforts, thinking thoughts like, "This isn't working." or "Who do I think I am?" or "I'm too ____ (old, young, rich, poor, ugly, fat, etc."

It may be that you have a spouse who thinks you can't succeed at doing something. Maybe they are too conservative and think it's better to be safe than sorry. Perhaps you can't get promoted because your boss doesn't believe in your ability to take more responsibility.

No matter where the source, doubt is a killer. It cuts you off from yourself. It cuts you off from your dreams. Henry Ford said,"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." I'd add to that , "if you believe what someone else thinks about whether you can or can't do something you're right." More often than not if we isolated ourselves we would probably rough things out till completion. So let's pick apart the reasons we let someone take the wind out of our sails.

1) Obligation- Examples: "Well she is my wife, she is scared and needs me to have a "job" with "benefits" to feel safe. I guess I'll go back to "work" and give up this entrepenuerial dream."

"Well, he feels threatened if I make more money than him, so I guess I'll quit my management position and stay home with the kids."

These are the guilt trips laid on us by people who are feeling insecure. They usually don't mean a bad thing by it, but are caught up in their own box and dealing with their own fear issues when you by your actions call attention to what is outside the box.

Now the guilt trips aren't stopping you, you are stopping you because you are wanting to avoid a potentially painful situation or an ugly argument.

Solution: Reassure the person that what you are doing will not change the way you feel about them, but make it clear you are going to do what it is you need to do anyway.

2) Fear- Examples: If I become successful I'll have to be more responsible and I already feel overwhelmed!

Becoming rich will make people envy me.

My life will change if I do this. (Which I want, but at the same time this will make me start a new chapter...things will never be the same again.)

Fear is often the root of our paralysis. Doubting that things will turn out better than ever, that there must be some catch, waiting for the shoe to drop...these are all fear issues and fear is nothing more than lack of faith.

Solution: Feel the fear and do it anyway. Everyone feels fearful from time to time. Just go with it. The best leaders have simply mastered doing things despite the adrenalin rush. Go for it!

3) Doing something that disagrees with your core beliefs.
Examples: I want to make a million dollars, but I've been raised to believe that money is the root of all evil. Your husband beats you but your Dad says divorce is against God's will.

These are some of the hardest to overcome, as well they should be. If your beliefs aren't difficult to change how sincere are your beliefs? When it comes to issues dealing with beliefs, you really have to take a critical view of the core belief versus the new desired outcome. Is there a way to reconcile the conflict? If not, are you going to abandon the desire, or the belief?

The best way to stay in the flow that I've experienced is to just push ahead with confidence. Don't listen to anyone but your inner voice. What does it tell you? Stand up to the occassion, make the tough choices and act on those choices. Most of all, honor your beliefs, and live by your own words...no one else will respect you if you don't!

All the best!
Bill White
http://www.synchronicity-expert.com
http://www.successradio1111.com